Leadership demands a great deal even under normal circumstances. When you’re dealing with personal grief, stress, and worry, those demands can feel overwhelming. It’s okay to not feel okay. Leading when you’re emotionally unwell requires a blend of self-compassion, intentional strategies, and reliance on the support around you. Here’s how to navigate this challenging time while honoring both your personal needs and your responsibilities as a leader.

1. Acknowledge and Accept Your Emotions
Suppressing emotions or trying to "push through" can lead to burnout and worsen your mental state. Accepting how you feel is the first step to managing your emotional well-being.
Actionable Steps:
Recognize your emotions—grief, stress, worry—without judgment.
Remind yourself that feeling overwhelmed is a natural response to what you’re experiencing.
Share your feelings with a trusted confidant, mentor, or counselor to process them constructively.
Example Thought: “I’m grieving my home, worried about my kids, and overwhelmed, but acknowledging this doesn’t make me weaker as a coach—it makes me human.”
2. Prioritize What’s Essential
When you’re emotionally unwell, you don’t have to do everything at once. Identify the most critical tasks and focus your energy on those.
Actionable Steps:
Use a "must-do, can-wait" framework to prioritize your responsibilities.
Delegate non-essential tasks to trusted staff or team members.
Accept that it’s okay to not operate at 100% capacity temporarily.
Example Action: Focus on leading practices and connecting with players during games while delegating administrative duties to your assistants.
3. Share Selectively and Set Boundaries
You don’t need to share every detail of your personal situation with your team, but selective transparency can help them understand your humanity and build trust.
Actionable Steps:
Share a brief acknowledgment of your challenges with your team if it feels appropriate. For example, “This has been a tough time for me personally, but I’m committed to leading us through this season.”
Set boundaries around what you are comfortable discussing.
4. Rely on Your Support Network
You don’t have to face this alone. Lean on the people around you—both personally and professionally—for help and understanding.
Actionable Steps:
Seek support from family, friends, or trusted colleagues who understand your situation.
Involve assistant coaches and staff in managing some aspects of the team, trusting them to step up when needed.
Consider professional counseling or therapy to help you process your emotions.
Example Action: Meet with a trusted assistant coach to discuss how they can take on additional responsibilities in practice planning or game preparation.
5. Take Small Steps to Care for Yourself
When you’re emotionally unwell, self-care may feel like one more thing on your to-do list, but small, intentional actions can help you regain a sense of balance.
Actionable Steps:
Prioritize sleep, even if it means letting go of less critical tasks.
Schedule short breaks during the day to reset mentally—whether it’s a walk, breathing exercises, or just quiet time.
Maintain a consistent meal schedule to keep your energy stable.
6. Use the Team as a Source of Energy
Connecting with your team can be a source of renewal and motivation, even when you’re feeling low.
Actionable Steps:
Focus on the relationships you’ve built with your players and staff. Their belief in you can help restore your confidence.
Use practices and games as an opportunity to immerse yourself in something you love, even if just for a few hours.
Example Action: Reflect on the joy and purpose you find in coaching and let that drive your actions on the court.
7. Manage Expectations and Self-Talk
It’s easy to feel like you’re falling short when you’re not performing at your peak, but perfection isn’t the goal—steadiness is.
Actionable Steps:
Remind yourself that your best effort in this moment is enough.
Reframe mistakes or setbacks as part of the process, not reflections of your worth as a leader.
Example Thought: “I’m not at my best right now, but I’m still showing up for my team, and that counts.”
8. Embrace the Power of Delegation
Delegating tasks is not a sign of weakness—it’s a way to ensure that your team’s needs are met even when you’re struggling.
Actionable Steps:
Identify areas where your staff or team members can step in, such as running drills or reviewing game footage.
Empower others by trusting them with responsibility, which also strengthens the team dynamic.
9. Stay Present During Practices and Games
Focusing on the present moment can help you temporarily set aside worries and re-center your energy.
Actionable Steps:
Use mindfulness techniques, such as focusing on your breathing, before practices or games.
Stay engaged with your players by observing their efforts and offering feedback in real time.
10. Celebrate Small Wins
In times of emotional hardship, even small victories can feel monumental. Use them as reminders of your strength and resilience.
Actionable Steps:
Reflect on moments of connection with your players or staff.
Celebrate achievements, no matter how minor, as evidence of progress and perseverance.
What to Avoid When Leading While Emotionally Unwell
Ignoring Your Emotions: Suppressing your feelings can lead to burnout and even physical symptoms of stress.
Trying to Do It All Alone: Refusing help can intensify feelings of isolation and overwhelm.
Overloading Yourself: Pushing through every task without prioritizing will only compound stress.
Final Thoughts
Leading a team while grieving and managing personal stress is one of the most challenging situations a coach can face. Remember that leadership doesn’t require you to be invincible—it requires you to show up with honesty, adaptability, and care.
By acknowledging your emotions, relying on your support network, and prioritizing self-care, you can continue to lead effectively even during difficult times. Allow yourself the grace to navigate this season one step at a time. You are not alone, and your resilience will inspire those around you, both on and off the court.
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