When Nothing Works: How to Handle Players Who Need a Wake-Up Call

(And What To Do When Your Best Efforts Aren’t Getting Through)

Every coach faces it at some point.

A player with incredible natural talent but zero work ethic. Or a player who seems to care less and less, no matter what you try. Or a player who has hit a slump and can’t seem to find their way out of it.

It’s frustrating, especially when you feel like you’ve tried everything:

✅ Encouragement. 

✅ Honest conversations. 

✅ Tough love. 

✅ Benching them. 

✅ Giving them responsibility or leadership roles.

But no matter what you do, they’re not responding. So, what do you do when nothing seems to work?

🎯 Why Some Players Don’t Respond (Even When You’re Trying Everything)

The truth is: 👉 Motivation doesn’t always come from the coach.

Some players are dealing with things you can’t see. Some are resisting change because they don’t want to put in the effort. And some are just not ready to do what it takes.

Here are some common reasons why players don’t respond to coaching efforts:

1. Internal Conflict

They’re not sure they want it as much as everyone else does. Maybe they play because they’re good at it, not because they love it. Or maybe they feel pressure from parents, teammates, or even you.

📌 What to Watch For:

• Lack of passion or enjoyment, even during games.

• Resentment toward training or team responsibilities.

• A sense of detachment or going through the motions.

💬 “If the player doesn’t want it for themselves, nothing you do will change that.”

2. Fear of Failure

Some players shut down because they’re afraid of not living up to expectations. If they don’t try their best, they can always say, “I wasn’t really trying.”

📌 What to Watch For:

• Avoidance of challenges.

• Making excuses or deflecting blame.

• Poor body language or giving up easily.

💬 “For some players, underperforming is safer than trying their best and failing.”

3. Burnout or Mental Fatigue

Even talented players can reach a point where they feel mentally drained. Too much pressure, too much training, too little joy.

📌 What to Watch For:

• Decreased interest in the sport.

• Emotional outbursts or visible frustration.

• Lack of energy, effort, or enthusiasm.

💬 “If the game feels like a burden, the player will resist any effort to engage.”

4. Lack of Accountability

Sometimes, players underperform because no one has truly held them accountable. They get by on talent alone and don’t see the need to work hard.

📌 What to Watch For:

• Excuses and blame-shifting.

• Disregard for feedback or criticism.

• Consistent lack of effort without consequence.

💬 “If there’s no real consequence for laziness, why would they change?”

5. Misalignment of Goals

The player’s personal goals may not match the team’s goals — or yours. If they don’t feel like their efforts are aligned with their own ambitions, they’ll lose motivation.

📌 What to Watch For:

• Resistance to coaching methods or team culture.

• Indifference to winning, losing, or improving.

• Frustration with roles, responsibilities, or playing time.

💬 “If their vision doesn’t match yours, it’s hard to find common ground.”

🔑 What To Do When Nothing Seems to Work

Sometimes, players need a wake-up call. But that doesn’t always mean shouting at them or punishing them.

Here’s a better approach:

1. Have an Honest Conversation (Again)

Yes, you’ve already talked to them. But maybe the conversation hasn’t been real enough.

📌 What to Do:

• Ask direct, open-ended questions: “Do you want this? Why or why not?”

• Listen without judgment.

• Let them express their frustrations, doubts, or confusion.

• Make it clear that you’re trying to understand, not lecture.

💬 “The goal is to get to the truth — not just what you want to hear.”

2. Establish Clear Expectations and Consequences

Sometimes, players need to see that talent alone isn’t enough. If you keep letting them slide, you’re reinforcing bad habits.

📌 What to Do:

• Define what’s acceptable and what isn’t.

• Make sure they understand the consequences of their actions.

• Stick to your standards — even when it’s uncomfortable.

💬 “You can’t lower your standards just because they’re talented.”

3. Give Them a Role That Challenges Them

Sometimes, disengagement comes from boredom or lack of challenge. If a player feels like they’re just there to perform, they might check out mentally.

📌 What to Do:

• Give them specific responsibilities that challenge their mindset.

• Make them accountable for something beyond just their own performance.

• Encourage them to mentor younger or less experienced teammates.

💬 “Purpose can drive effort where talent alone falls short.”

4. Apply Real Consequences

When all the conversations, challenges, and encouragement don’t work, it’s time for real consequences. It’s not about punishment. It’s about standards.

📌 What to Do:

• Bench Them: Sitting them out for a game isn’t always enough. Consider multiple games if necessary. Let them feel what it's like to not be part of the effort.

• Reduce Their Role: If their work ethic doesn’t align with the standards of the team, their role should reflect that. Talent without effort is wasted potential.

• Suspend Them from the Team: Sometimes, it takes removing them entirely from practices or games to make them realize the seriousness of the situation.

• Cut Them from the Roster: As a last resort, if a player continues to refuse to meet your standards, it may be time to part ways. This is especially true when their attitude is poisoning the team culture.

  
  

💬 “The door is open for you to work your way back. But right now, you’re not meeting the standard. And the standard is the standard.”

5. Accept That You Can’t Save Everyone

Here’s the hardest truth for any coach:

👉 Some players simply aren’t ready to be saved.

No matter how much potential they have, or how badly you want them to succeed, if they’re not willing to put in the work, you have to let them go.

📌 What This Means:

• You may need to cut them from the team entirely.

• You may need to give them a longer suspension than just a game or two.

• You may need to move on without them, even if they’re one of your most talented players.

  
  

💬 “Sometimes, the best wake-up call is realizing that the opportunity can be taken away.”

✅ Be clear about the consequences: Let them know that cutting them isn’t about anger or punishment — it’s about standards, commitment, and respect for the program. 

✅ Give them a path back: If you choose to cut them, make it clear that redemption is possible, but only if they show the commitment you’ve been asking for.

🧠 Take These With You:

 ❤️ “Your job is to create opportunities for growth — not to force it.” 

❤️ “If they’re not ready to work, no amount of effort on your part will change that.” 

❤️ “The best wake-up calls are the ones that help players find their own motivation.” 

❤️ “Sometimes, the door has to close before they realize they want to walk through it.”