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When Your Child’s Struggles Affect You

Writer's picture: RIZERIZE

As an athlete-parent, the challenge of seeing your child struggle emotionally or mentally can weigh heavily on your mind, making it tough to stay focused in your professional role. While you may be used to managing pressure in sports, this is a different game—one where the stakes feel higher because it’s personal. Balancing the emotional weight of your child’s difficulties with the demands of your career requires a fresh, actionable approach that goes beyond conventional advice.

Here’s a unique guide to help you navigate this challenging time while maintaining your own strength and presence.



When Your Child’s Struggles Affect You

1. Treat Emotional Impact Like Game Strategy

In sports, you analyze the opponent and plan your next move. Apply that same strategic thinking to your emotions.

  • Actionable Steps:

    • “Scout” Your Emotions: Identify how your child’s struggles affect you. Are you distracted? Frustrated? Feeling helpless?

    • Design a Mental Game Plan: Create a ritual to process emotions before work:

      • Journal for five minutes about what’s on your mind.

      • Use a grounding exercise, like visualizing your game or workout as a mental reset.

    • Remind yourself: “I can’t win this game all at once, but I can play it one move at a time.”



2. Schedule “Worry Time”

Athletes compartmentalize to stay in the moment. One way to keep your child’s struggles from taking over your day is to set boundaries for your worry.

  • How It Works:

    • Dedicate 15–20 minutes a day as “worry time” to think about your child’s situation. Write down your concerns, possible solutions, or just vent.

    • When intrusive thoughts arise outside of worry time, remind yourself: “I’ll think about this during my set time.”

    • Use a timer or specific location (like a quiet room) to make it a contained and focused practice.



3. Build Emotional Conditioning Into Your Routine

Just as athletes train their bodies, parents can condition their minds and emotions for resilience.

  • Unique Exercises for Emotional Conditioning:

    • “Pause and Pivot”: When emotions overwhelm you, take a deliberate pause and pivot to an action. For example, if you’re feeling helpless, pivot to an encouraging text to your child.

    • Reflect and Reframe: After a game or practice, spend five minutes identifying a moment where you stayed composed despite feeling weighed down. Reflect on what worked and how you can apply it to future situations.



4. Use Your Sport as a Bridge, Not an Escape

Instead of viewing your sport as a distraction from your child’s struggles, use it as a tool to deepen your connection.

  • How to Build a Bridge:

    • Share relatable challenges from your sport:

      • “Sometimes, I feel nervous before a big game, but I’ve learned that breathing exercises help. Want me to show you?”

    • Invite your child to join you for light activities like shooting hoops or stretching together, framing it as a shared way to decompress.

    • Use metaphors from your sport to help them understand resilience and teamwork:

      • “Even when I feel like I can’t push through a tough play, I remind myself to take it one step at a time.”



5. Let Them See You Struggle Productively

Children learn from how you handle adversity. Modeling productive struggle can teach them how to manage their own.

  • Actionable Ideas:

    • Acknowledge your emotions: “I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed, but I’m working on it by talking to someone and making a plan.”

    • Show them your self-care practices: “I take 10 minutes to meditate after practice because it helps me feel calmer.”

    • Share small victories: “I had a tough moment at work today, but I handled it by focusing on what I could control.”



6. Reclaim Energy Through Micro-Acts of Joy

When your energy is depleted by worry, it can feel impossible to show up fully for your child or your team. Instead of waiting for big breaks to recharge, focus on micro-acts of joy throughout the day.

  • Examples of Micro-Joys:

    • Savor your coffee instead of rushing through it.

    • Play one song that lifts your mood before heading to practice.

    • Find a 30-second moment to laugh—whether it’s a funny meme, a quick joke, or something silly with your child.



7. Rethink Your Definition of “Success” as a Parent

Athletes thrive on metrics, but parenting isn’t about perfect wins. Redefine what success looks like during this tough time.

  • New Success Markers:

    • Did you create a moment of connection today, even if it was brief?

    • Did you provide a sense of safety and love, even if you didn’t solve the problem?

    • Did you take care of yourself in small ways to show up stronger for your child tomorrow?

Remind yourself: “Success as a parent isn’t about fixing—it’s about being present.”



8. Use Gratitude as an Anchor

When emotions run high, gratitude can help ground you in the present.

  • How to Use It:

    • Start each day by listing three small things you’re grateful for, focusing on your child when possible:

      • “I’m grateful for their courage to face today.”

      • “I’m thankful for their laugh this morning.”

    • Share gratitude with your child: “I love how strong you’ve been through all of this. It inspires me.”



9. Lean Into Your Team’s Support

Being a professional athlete or coach means you’re part of a larger team. Use that network to share the emotional load.

  • What to Ask For:

    • Speak privately to a trusted teammate or staff member, letting them know what you’re navigating at home.

    • Ask for specific support, like covering a small task during practice or simply checking in with you.

    • If comfortable, involve your team in meaningful ways, such as dedicating a game or moment to resilience, which can inspire both you and your child.



10. Trust in Long-Term Growth

When you’re in the thick of it, it’s easy to feel like your child’s struggles will never improve. Trust that this is a phase of growth for both of you.

  • How to Find Perspective:

    • Reflect on past challenges you’ve overcome in your sport or life. Remind yourself that growth often comes from adversity.

    • Write a letter to your future self, imagining the lessons and strength you’ll gain from this time.

    • Share this mindset with your child: “Even hard times can teach us how strong we are.”



Final Thoughts

As an athlete-parent, the pressure to perform while supporting a struggling child is immense. But by reframing challenges, leaning on your strengths, and practicing small moments of self-care, you can find balance and resilience.

Remember, showing up for your child doesn’t mean having all the answers—it means being present, consistent, and compassionate. Together, you’ll navigate this journey with the same determination and grace that defines your career in sports.


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