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Navigating Grief as an Athlete or Coach in the Wake of a Critical Incident

Writer's picture: RIZERIZE

Grief is a deeply personal journey, yet in the aftermath of a critical incident—whether it’s losing a home, cherished belongings, or even a loved one—it can feel amplified by the unique pressures of being an athlete or coach. The media spotlight, the expectations to perform, and the relentless pace of your career leave little room to pause and process.

Grieving in the public eye while maintaining your responsibilities on and off the court is no easy feat. This guide offers practical strategies to help you honor your grief while continuing to show up for your team, your career, and yourself.



Navigating Grief as an Athlete or Coach in the Wake of a Critical Incident

1. Allow Yourself to Feel Without Judgment

As someone accustomed to powering through challenges, it may feel unnatural to embrace the vulnerability of grief. But suppressing emotions can weigh heavier over time.

  • How to Honor Your Feelings:

    • Acknowledge your grief as valid, regardless of the specifics of your loss. “It’s okay to feel this way—what I’ve experienced is significant.”

    • Set aside time each day, even if just 10 minutes, to check in with your emotions.

    • Use a journal, voice notes, or quiet reflection to let your feelings flow without censoring them.



2. Reframe Strength as Allowing Space for Grief

Strength isn’t about pretending everything is fine—it’s about finding ways to carry your grief while still moving forward.

  • Reframing Strength:

    • Remind yourself: “It’s not weak to grieve; it’s human. Processing my emotions is part of my resilience.”

    • Share your grief selectively with trusted teammates, staff, or loved ones to lighten the emotional load.

    • Remember, you can be a role model for how to grieve openly and authentically while maintaining professionalism.



3. Create Small Rituals to Honor What You’ve Lost

Grief often feels unstructured and overwhelming. Rituals can provide a sense of stability and connection.

  • Ideas for Rituals:

    • Light a candle or keep a small object with you during practices or games as a silent acknowledgment of your loss.

    • Dedicate part of your warm-up or cool-down to reflection, pairing movement with thoughts of what you’re grieving.

    • Collaborate with your team to honor collective losses, such as observing a moment of silence before a game.



4. Lean on Movement as an Emotional Outlet

As an athlete, your body is a powerful tool for processing emotions. Use it to channel your grief in constructive ways.

  • How to Use Movement:

    • During practices, focus on your movements as a form of grounding. Feel the rhythm of your steps, the strength of your body, and the connection to your team.

    • Incorporate activities like yoga or swimming, which combine mindfulness with physical release.

    • If anger or frustration is part of your grief, engage in high-intensity activities like sprints or punching bag sessions to release pent-up energy.



5. Set Boundaries With Media and Public Expectations

Navigating grief under public scrutiny adds another layer of difficulty. Set boundaries to protect your emotional well-being.

  • Strategies for Managing Media Pressure:

    • Decide in advance how much, if anything, you want to share publicly about your loss. Use phrases like:

      • “I’m focusing on my recovery and would prefer to keep personal matters private right now.”

    • Limit your exposure to social media or news coverage that might feel overwhelming.

    • Work with your team’s PR staff to manage media requests in a way that aligns with your emotional capacity.



6. Accept That Focus Will Fluctuate

Grief ebbs and flows, often disrupting focus. Accepting this as part of the process can reduce frustration and self-criticism.

  • How to Navigate Fluctuations in Focus:

    • Break practices or games into smaller mental chunks, focusing on one play, one possession, or one action at a time.

    • Use grounding techniques, such as deep breathing or visualization, to pull yourself back when your mind wanders.

    • Be patient with yourself: “It’s okay if I’m not 100% today. What matters is that I showed up and gave my best effort in this moment.”



7. Seek Connection With Teammates and Loved Ones

Grief can feel isolating, but connection helps lighten the emotional weight.

  • Ways to Build Connection:

    • Share your feelings with a trusted teammate or coach who understands the pressures of your role.

    • Spend time with people outside of sports to remind yourself of the broader support system in your life.

    • If words feel too difficult, engage in shared activities, such as cooking, watching a movie, or taking a walk together.



8. Balance Emotional Coping With Problem-Solving

Grieving often comes with practical challenges, such as rebuilding after losing belongings or navigating financial strain. Balancing emotional and problem-focused coping is key.

  • How to Balance Both:

    • Dedicate specific times to problem-solving, such as filing insurance claims or organizing your living situation.

    • Separate those moments from emotional coping activities, like journaling, mindfulness, or talking to a trusted confidant.

    • Give yourself credit for every small step forward, whether it’s making a phone call or simply getting through the day.



9. Reconnect With Purpose and Community

Grief can make the world feel smaller and less meaningful. Rebuilding a sense of purpose can help expand your perspective and foster healing.

  • Reconnecting With Purpose:

    • Channel your energy into performing for a larger cause, such as inspiring resilience in your community or dedicating your efforts to those you’ve lost.

    • Engage in acts of service, like volunteering or organizing a team initiative to support others affected by the crisis.

    • Remind yourself that showing up, even on hard days, is a testament to your strength and values.



10. Give Yourself Grace and Time

Grief has no timeline. Some days you’ll feel strong, and others will feel heavy. Allow yourself the space to experience both.

  • Practices for Grace:

    • End each day with a moment of self-reflection: “What did I do today to honor myself and my grief?”

    • Replace self-criticism with self-compassion: “It’s okay to not have it all together. I’m doing the best I can.”

    • Trust that healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means learning to carry your loss alongside hope and strength.



Final Thoughts

Grieving in the aftermath of a critical incident is a complex journey, especially for those in the public eye. Balancing personal pain with professional responsibilities isn’t easy, but by honoring your emotions, setting boundaries, and leaning on your support network, you can navigate this difficult time with resilience and authenticity.

Remember, grief is not a sign of weakness—it’s a testament to the love and meaning behind what you’ve lost. By taking care of yourself, you honor that meaning while finding the strength to keep moving forward, one step at a time.


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