A critical incident—whether a natural disaster, community tragedy, or personal loss—can leave a lasting emotional impact on children. For athlete-parents balancing professional responsibilities with the well-being of their families, helping a child cope with trauma can feel daunting.
While many approaches to supporting children after trauma emphasize routine and emotional validation, there are unique and creative ways to help your child process their experience. This guide provides fresh strategies tailored for athlete-parents who are navigating the dual roles of leader and caregiver.

1. Help Your Child Tell Their Story
Trauma often feels chaotic and confusing. Encouraging your child to create a coherent narrative about the event can help them process what happened and make sense of their feelings.
How to Guide Storytelling:
Let your child use their preferred medium:
Younger children might draw pictures or create a story with toys.
Older children might journal, write a letter, or talk it out.
Ask gentle, open-ended questions:
“What do you remember most about that day?”
“What would you want someone else to know about how you felt?”
Emphasize that they are the hero of their story, focusing on their bravery and resilience.
2. Introduce Rituals of Comfort and Healing
Rituals can provide a sense of closure and stability for children processing trauma. These small acts help anchor emotions and create moments of connection.
Examples of Rituals:
Memory Jar: Encourage your child to write or draw happy memories they can revisit when they feel overwhelmed.
Lighting a Candle: Use a candle to signify hope and strength during family time.
Daily Affirmation Ritual: Start each day by sharing something positive about the day ahead.
3. Encourage Small Acts of Control
Trauma often leaves children feeling powerless. Giving them small opportunities to make decisions can help rebuild their sense of agency.
How to Offer Control:
Let them choose how to decorate their room or a small space that feels safe to them.
Involve them in decisions about family activities, like what to cook for dinner or a weekend outing.
Teach them simple self-regulation skills, such as choosing a "calm corner" to retreat to when they feel overwhelmed.
4. Use Movement as a Tool for Healing
Physical activity can help release pent-up stress and restore a sense of normalcy. Movement that is playful and non-competitive allows children to express emotions they might not have words for.
Activities to Try:
Nature Walks: Explore a park or trail, focusing on sights and sounds to ground their senses.
Dance Sessions: Let them choose their favorite songs and have a family dance-off.
Animal Movements: For younger kids, imitate animals (e.g., hop like a frog, stretch like a cat) to make movement fun.
5. Teach Emotional Vocabulary Through Play
Sometimes children don’t have the words to describe their emotions. Helping them build an emotional vocabulary can give them the tools they need to communicate more effectively.
How to Teach Emotions Through Play:
Use emotion cards or toys to match facial expressions with feelings.
Play “Feelings Charades,” acting out emotions for each other to guess.
Create a color-coded “Feelings Chart” where they can point to how they’re feeling each day.
6. Explore Symbolic Acts of Renewal
Symbolic acts can help children mark the transition from the traumatic event to a phase of healing and hope.
Ideas for Symbolic Acts:
Planting a Tree or Flower: Let the child care for it as a representation of growth and renewal.
Rebuilding Together: Work on a creative project, like making a photo collage, to symbolize creating something positive together.
Releasing Worries: Write worries on paper and throw them into a bonfire or tear them up together.
7. Reframe Strength as Asking for Help
Children often look to parents for cues about how to handle adversity. Normalize the idea that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
How to Model This:
Share moments when you’ve reached out for support:
“I talked to someone about how I’ve been feeling, and it really helped.”
Encourage them to identify their own "help team," like friends, teachers, or counselors.
Celebrate acts of self-care, like asking for a hug or taking a moment to rest.
8. Foster Connections Through Shared Activities
Rebuilding a sense of connection can help children feel supported and less isolated in their experience.
What to Do Together:
Cook a meal or bake cookies as a family, focusing on the shared experience.
Play cooperative games, like building a puzzle or playing catch.
Spend intentional time with teammates or friends to remind them of their broader support network.
9. Create a “Resilience Toolkit”
Help your child assemble a physical or mental toolkit of strategies to turn to when they’re feeling overwhelmed.
What to Include:
A favorite stuffed animal, photo, or small object that brings comfort.
Written affirmations or reminders of past successes.
A step-by-step guide to coping strategies, like deep breathing or listening to calming music.
10. Help Them Find Purpose Through Kindness
Engaging in acts of kindness can empower children and remind them of their ability to make a positive difference, even after a difficult event.
Ideas for Kindness Projects:
Collect donations for families affected by the crisis.
Make cards or drawings for community helpers, like firefighters or volunteers.
Volunteer as a family for a local cause, emphasizing teamwork and giving back.
Final Thoughts
Helping your child through trauma is about finding ways to meet their unique needs with compassion and creativity. By introducing rituals, movement, symbolic acts, and opportunities for connection, you can guide them through their healing process in ways that feel fresh and meaningful.
As an athlete-parent, your ability to balance the demands of your profession with the needs of your family sets a powerful example of resilience. Together, you and your child can navigate this journey with hope, strength, and a renewed sense of purpose.
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